Accompanying England and America on a Road Trip
by binnibeans
Summary: America has England tagging along on a trip. They find themselves in ... several situations.


**A/N:** For **usxuk**'s Summer Camp event! …Stillll catching up.

Day 21: Roadtrip

_Taking to the road together! Note that this does NOT need to be in a car. They can be taking a boat trip, riding horses, on a quest, etc. Just as long as the idea of a roadtrip (a fairly lengthy trip to reach a destination, or to stop at destinations along the way), is there. _

* * *

><p>"Friday! Friday! Gotta get down on Friday!"<p>

"Turn off the radio, America."

"Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend! Weekend!"

"America!"

"Aww, come on! It's a fun song! And it's _Friday_!"

"I will make you listen to the Spice Girls if you don't turn this rubbish off."

"…But I like the Spice Girls…."

* * *

><p>"Virginia!"<p>

"O-ow! America, what was that for?"

"The License Plate game, duh! Oh! Indiana!"

"Ahh, stop it! Stop hitting me!"

"Kentucky—! Ow! England, what the hell? You're supposed to call the state before you hit!"

"I am not playing this game! Stop hitting me! Focus on the road!"

"…Spoil sport."

* * *

><p>"England, I'm bored."<p>

"You're driving; you've plenty to entertain you."

"But you're reading!"

"I am. Leave me alone. Drive."

"…Read out loud to me…?"

"You'll find it boring. You'd fall asleep, and I don't exactly feel like dying today."

"What are you reading?"

"…_Little Women_…."

"Dude! One'a my books? That's so cool! Read it!"

"N-nevermind! My eyes are tired!"

"England!"

* * *

><p>"America, if you're tired, we can pull off to a motel."<p>

"Wha'? No! I'm fine!"

"America, you're yawning."

"A-a-am no—okay, fine!"

* * *

><p>"…You know those moments in movies when the two protagonists are standing in front of the building they'll be staying the night in?"<p>

"Yes."

"And now the building is really creepy? Like, peeling paint, dirty windows, rednecks out front that look like drug dealers?"

"Yes."

"I feel like we're having that moment."

"I do, too."

"Wanna head back to the car?"

"Yes, let's."

* * *

><p>"I don't want McDonald's for breakfast."<p>

"What? But it's the breakfast of champions!"

"No! You dragged me along, and you force me to listen to something people are forced to call music. I get to choose, and I choose a decent sit-down restaurant for breakfast!"

"But you can sit down at McDonald's…!"

"No sex the rest of the trip."

"…You wouldn't be able to last that long."

"Oh, I can. Starting as of … right now, no sex."

"Fine! We'll find a Waffle House, or something."

* * *

><p>"Englannnd, I'm hungry."<p>

"…We _just ate breakfast_."

"Uh, yeah, three hours ago! I am a hero, and heroes need proper nutrition!"

"McDonald's is not proper nutrition."

"…How did you—"

"I should think to know you, by now."

"So, d'you wanna—"

"No. You can wait at least one more hour before lunch."

"I should'a brought _Ireland _along…."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

* * *

><p>"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety-nine bottles of beer!"<p>

"Oh, no."

"Take one down! Pass it around! Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!"

"You have a radio! Turn on the radio!"

"Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety-eight bottles of beer!"

* * *

><p>"Seventy-four bottles of beer on the wall!"<p>

"I will turn the radio up, America!"

"Seventy-four bottles of beer! Take one down! Pass it around!"

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Seventy-three—do you really not like the song?"

"No!"

"Is it better than _Fri_—?"

"No!"

"So can I sing _Fri_—?"

"No!"

* * *

><p>"Do you hear that, America?"<p>

"No…?"

"What you do not hear is called silence. Isn't it nice?"

"No, it's boring."

"Learn to appreciate it."

"I feel like 'no' has really been overused, and we're not even 2 days into this trip."

"Oh, it's not over, I'm sure. We should stop for some tea."

"Uh, gross. No."

"Told you."

* * *

><p>"Ah, finally! A real hotel!"<p>

"If you flop down on the bed like that, you'll wrinkle your shirt. Sit up."

"What's it matter? It's dirty anyway."

"You should make it a habit to practice some form of decorum."

"…No one's going to see this shirt."

"_I _can see it—fine. Now I can't."

"But you're still starinnng! Like what you see?"

"Y-you are ridiculous, America!"

"You're smiling—! Okay, you're not supposed to scowl when I say that! You are a fun-sucker."

* * *

><p>"O-ow, England! Scoot over!"<p>

_grunt_

"Mooove…!"

_mumble_

"Your knee is in my back!"

_snore_

"England!"

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Ame—America? America, where <em>are<em>you? …America."

"What."

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Oh, gee, I dunno. Because _someone _was reliving his days as an empire, and claimed the entire bed for Britain!"

"Oh, that's just silly. I see no flag here."

* * *

><p>"And I would walk five hundred miles!"<p>

"And I would walk five hundred more!"

"Just to be the man who walks a thousand—!"

"Miles to fall down at your door!"

* * *

><p>"Well, I must say. I'm rather impressed. We've gone three days without any McDonald's, or other fast food."<p>

"Hmph."

"Oh, what's wrong, America?"

"N-nothing…. Ithurts…."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I too rough?"

"_Please _let me top again."

* * *

><p>"Name as many of the first 150 Pokémon as you can starting now! Go!"<p>

"Why am I playing this?"

"You're losing time, England!"

"Oh, fine! Er, Togepi! Mew, Pikachu, Eevee, Growlithe, Jigglypuff…. Er…."

"Dude, you're only naming the cute ones."

* * *

><p>"I spy with my little eye something beginning with C."<p>

"Coke."

"…You're good. Fine. I spy with my little eye something beginning with L."

"Lorry."

"Nope."

"I don't know, America. What?"

"Love!"

* * *

><p>"Montana—ENGLAND. You have to call the state, first! And you don't need to hit so hard…!"<p>

"You want states? Virginia! North Carolina! Pennsylvania! New York! Delaware!"

"S-stop hitting me so harrrd! And none of those were anywhere near us!"

"I don't care!"

"…I noticed you only name former colonies…."

"Shut up!"

* * *

><p>"BAH-DA-DA-DA-DA!"<p>

("BAH-DA-DA-DA-DA!")

"BAH-DA-DA-DA-DA!"

("BAH-DA-DA-DA-DA!")

"Bah-deh Dum-deh-leh duh-dum Dum-deh-leh duh-dum duhhh!"

* * *

><p>"Hey, you wanna go to a club?"<p>

"Why would we go to a club on a road trip?"

"Just to relax and release cooped up frustrations."

"…You find being in the car with me frustrating…?"

"…N-no! I mean! Like! You're probably getting really upset with me!"

"So you're saying you think that I hate being with you."

"…You're on your man-period, aren't you."

* * *

><p>"England, unlock the car door. England. England, this is <em>my car<em>. …Don't make that face! …Oh my God, you brought along your embroidery? ENGLAND! UNLOCK MY CAR DOOR!"

* * *

><p>"Englannnnd—I'm sorry, already! I didn't mean it!<p>

* * *

><p>"You know what? FINE! SIT in my car! Roast in there! …Wait, what are you doing—England, don't turn on the car! You'll waste the gas and battery! Do you know how expensive gas is?"<p>

* * *

><p>"You know, you do the oddest things when you're stranded outside alone, in the heat. It was rather adorable, actually."<p>

"So glad you were amused. Meanwhile, I suffer heatstroke!"

"Oh, you do not have heatstroke."

"I could! Ugh, you're paying for gas the next time, I hope you know."

"I don't mind."

* * *

><p>"GOING TO THE CLUB WAS A GOOD IDEA."<p>

"I'M SURPRISED YOU HAD CLOTHES FOR IT."

"I'M ALWAYS PREPARED!"

"ENGLAND, WE'RE IN PUBLIC. YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT."

"OH, WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE, AMERICA?"

"YOU'RE DRUNK, AREN'T YOU."

* * *

><p>"A-and then that b-b-bastard, France! Th-those crossdressing ninnies L-Lafayette and—and Jones!"<p>

"H-hey, now…!"

"And then—! And then _Prussia_ gets that p-pedo Von _S-Scchhhhhh_…. _Steuben _to help. I k-know he and Lafayette had something on the side! Don't … don't lie to me, Ameri…. Ame…."

"Great. Fall asleep on me. How embarrassing…."

* * *

><p>"Hey! Morning, handsome."<p>

"Ugh, I don't feel it…. Oh, I've a raging headache."

"Well, you were pretty out of it last night. You should really start watching how much you drink."

"America."

"What?"

"Stop talking, and just keep holding me."

* * *

><p>"…Y-you got me tea…."<p>

"I just thought it would help your headache!"

"…Thank you, America."

"You're welcome…."

* * *

><p>"JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO WALKS A THOUSAND—!"<p>

"MILES TO FALL DOWN AT YOUR DOOR…!"

"…Let's sing _Nations of the World_, now!"

"No, America, I'm done singing."

"Aww come on! United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama…!"

"…Haiti, Jamaica, Peru…."

* * *

><p>"Monaco—"<p>

"Liechtenstein—"

"Malta—"

"And Palestine—"

"Fiji—"

"Australia—"

"Sudan!"

"Awesome! Now to the presidents!"

* * *

><p>"We should be back by tomorrow. I'm actually pretty excited for this to end! It was a lot of fun!"<p>

"It … it wasn't all bad, no…."

"Seee? You had fun!

"Yes, yes, I did—AMERICA, STOP!"

"What—shit!"

* * *

><p>"…You made me blow a tire over a squirrel."<p>

"You have a spare."

* * *

><p>"…E-er, well! W-Washington was first, followed by John Adams, then Th-Thomas J-J-Jeff…. America, can we please pull over…."<p>

* * *

><p>"Henry, his son Edward, then Jane's kinda debatable, then Mary. Elizabeth ended the Tudors."<p>

"Yes. Then what?"

"The Stuarts, with Mary, Queen of Scot's son, James."

"Very good! You did learn something!"

"…Yeah, and I don't get sick mentioning Tommy J."

"Is that what you're calling him, now?"

* * *

><p>"Thanks for comin' with me, England."<p>

"It … it was nothing. As I said earlier, I didn't … mind too much…. It was nice to just relax with you."

"Yeah…. Um…. Have a safe flight home…."

"I will. …I love you."

"I love you, too, England! Text me when you get to London, all right?"

"I will…."

"Bye…!"

"…Bye…."

* * *

><p>END<p> 


End file.
